End of the month

Here we are in the last week of April. My goal was to be at 256 by the end of April and I am currently 252.9, tomorrow is my weigh in and as long as its a number under 256 I'll be happy. Each month the losses are harder to get in, April I only lost like 7 pounds, whereas in March I lost like 15 pounds. It evens out to be about 3.5 pounds a week or about 12 pounds a month. The biggest losses came at the beginning. Since then it seems like I go between numbers. Right now my goal is to be 246 at the end of May with a goal of less before I see the doctor in June. I have to be aware of the changes I have made. I still have so much work to do. I still struggle to drink enough water. I get liquids in but I do not get water in correctly. Today I know I have not drank enough water, and I've had several stomach aches, and I know that without enough water I can get dehydrated and that will make me really sick. So today I choose to drink more water. And I think there are some things I need to let go of for right now. I want to get to my goal weight. If I get to the weight my doctor wants in June, I will still have 80 more pounds to go. It won't happen though if I am not doing the right things.
I struggle on days like this where my stomach bothers me, because it doesn't make me want to eat, it makes me want to avoid food altogether.  I know I need protein but I do believe I'll be ok if every once in awhile I don't eat solid food. Today I am trying to figure out what to eat. I don't want to eat much but I know that if I don't eat anything I won't have any energy.
I had this surgery not because it was the easy way out but because I needed a mental change. This surgery makes me think while I eat.  This surgery makes me feel my body, and make decisions to eat the foods that will help not hurt myself. I don't want to just go back to the foods I used to eat. I don't want to recreate them either. I want a better life. I want food to get to the place it belongs.